Showing

I stopped by my sister's last night and picked up plenty of her her pregnancy pants - actually, she gave me more clothes than I had to wear before I got pregnant. I'm awfully relieved because walking around with my pants unzipped was very distracting. I kept wondering if everyone could see the front of my panties, even when I was wearing the bella band.

I'm definitely showing, and not just a little bit. It's weird to have people look straight out, completely frankly, at my belly. I'm not used to that kind of attention from anyone, let alone co-workers and peers at work. I've told most of the people I care about at work, so then when someone I don't know as well or perhaps don't really love looks at my belly, I feel oddly invaded.

I've been thinking some about being out as a lesbian and "coming out" again as pregnant - as most of you know, you never really stop coming out as a lesbian. Every time you get a new job or join a new gym or go on a trip with your partner there's 'splainin' to do. Recently C had surgery. I was sitting in the hospital room with her and the nurse said asked, "Who are you, her mother?" This was mostly insulting because she's actually older than me, but it was also irrititating that she had so very little context for our relationship that it seemed more probable that we were mother/daughter than that we were partners. I know this is just the beginning of people's idiocy, and that once the baby comes, we'll get plenty of "Who's the *real* mother?" and the like, but  it's still a fresh slap every time.

Netiher of us are very butch, and in some ways that adds to our invisibility as a couple. All the smiles and stares as we move down this pregnancy/family path are something we'll just have to get used to, along with the weird comments, but I think in some ways I preferred not showing, or not being seen, to this.